Tuesday, September 19, 2006

the path
“Rely on HIS strength!”

That is what someone told me today. That is how we get through this difficult time of slowly losing my grandfather. I find myself praying constantly about how to act and react to the daily rollercoaster of emotions we as a family go through. I don’t know how to act most of the time. Some times I’m really sad. I know I should be sad so put in a song that reminds me of my grandfather and cry while I’m driving the 30 minutes or so back home from work. Sometimes I’m really selfish wanting the end to come and come quickly not trusting in the LORD’S timing for all things. Sometimes I throw myself into work or a project or concerns of friends to kinda avoid thinking about it.
How do I rely on GOD’S strength? I even ask HIM that question because I don’t understand. Does it come from HIS word like wisdom? Is it in that quiet voice that makes my heart leap? Do I find strength from others? Maybe listening to those who know HIM and have walked through similar situations is the way to go! That just doesn’t seem right nor is it even available. I’ve looked and asked.
So, HIS strength, it is what I want, what I long for. It’s the best nothing could be better, right. So I pray I see when HE sends it my way.

2 comments:

Alli Miller said...

Finding His strength, for me, comes when I wholly and completely accept and give Him my weakness. Not keep a little bit because I can control it, or to save face, or to pretend I'm holy. Nope, just laying it all down, good and bad. Its not a worthy sacrifice by any means, but its all I have to give Him.

As for finding His strength in others' situations, I'm finding more hope and comfort in others' sharing of their experiences. I think He uses those around us to remind us that we are not walking through this alone. He is with us, but He's put others in our path to cheer us along as well.

ann said...

so right, allison. He manifests His strength in our lives in any way He chooses - a respite with friends over the weekend, a quiet moment at sunrise or sunset, the beauty of a storm coming in off the gulf... the shift that had to happen in my life was recognizing that i had to stop thinking there is anything i can do about anything. He has called us to experience all of life together, with Him.

it is my privilege to walk through this with you and your family. don't believe the lies that you are alone there. He has seen fit to surround you with people who love you dearly, even if we are several hundred miles away. we will hold you up - your job is to experience this and to grieve... Jesus wept - you should too.

as for strength... i've found that strength comes from vulnerability. for when i am weak, then i am strong. that strength manifests in many ways, but allowing God to be God is by far the easiest...

cry, wail, be silent, be still, dance, mourn... dear heart, we love you. there is no right or wrong way to handle this loss... and wanting it to end is not selfish, it's compassionate and full of mercy.